The Price of Urgency
We all just need to chill a tiny bit more.
Hello and Happy Friday!
Apologies for missing a week of this newsletter. I was in rural/coastal Mexico, didn’t bring my laptop, and found out that I can’t post a note from the Substack app?! Crazy. So, I’m going to blame technology on this one!
For those who read my last post, I did indeed get to spend a lot of time with mi abuelita. Here’s a little reel from my American Sueño instagram of the trip as well.
All I wanted from this trip was to sit and spend time with her and since I was up at 6am everyday, I was able to spend some 1:1 time before everyone else arrived everyday. It was really special. The big finale was her 86th birthday. It was a lot of fun.
One thing my husband noticed was the amount of time everyone had. Yes, most had jobs that had them have to be at work at 6/7/8AM, but by 2/3/4PM, most would stop by and say hey and spend some time at our beloved matriarch’s home. It could be because we, the visitors, were there. But the amount of time spent sitting, talking, and sharing was really special. It’s had me thinking a lot about urgency.
I pushed myself to be less on social media as others, even the teens, were hardly on their phones. I tried to put my phone down for hours and a few times even forgetting where I had put it. Even my dad, who is always on the clock, was starting to wind down and be on his phone less too. There’s something about visiting family that makes you realize that the message and the email and response can wait. Being present isn’t just about appreciating the moment, it’s about intentionally listening and living in that moment as well - something that has always been hard for me.
I am the person that wakes up at 7am and is already thinking of all of the things. I find it really hard to sleep in as I feel the beck and call of the day ahead. Time to get up and get all the things done, because before you know it, it’s noon and you haven’t published your newsletter! Living in New York especially contributes to that. Constant overstimulation. The feeling that dreams and opportunities are escaping you if you're not the early bird catching the worm at all hours of the day.
National Geographic recently wrote a piece titled:
“Urgency Culture might lead you to burnout”
To read this the week I returned to the city was especially appropriate.
According to the American Psychological Association’s Stress in America 2023 report, nearly a quarter of adults report feeling high levels of stress post-pandemic, marking a 19 percent increase since 2019. Younger adults are hit worse, with almost half of Gen Z and more than a third of millennials reporting feeling anxious or stressed all or most of the time.
“Anxiety, in turn, feeds into the urgency, creating a cycle where each reinforces the other,” Frank says.
We see it in the workplace. When you’re working a hybrid or remote job, the work never ends. Suddenly, your phone is now your work laptop (even if they don’t pay for it).
We see it in friendships and relationships. Too many platforms to falter on responding.
Overstimulation desensitizing our dopamine system.
According to David Rabin, a neuroscientist and cofounder of the San Francisco-based health tech company Apollo Neuro, an overactive fight-or-flight response can contribute to hypertension, sleep deprivation, high cholesterol, and inflammatory disorders.
Unfortunately, we can’t always whisk ourselves away on vacation or on to cozy times with family, so what should one do to avoid that burnout?
He recommends “the four practices of control” to calm and recenter whenever you feel rushed, overwhelmed, or overstimulated—intentional breathing, listening, movement, and touch.
Ahhh, intentionality. Mindfulness. Breathing! All things that seem much easier to speak than in practice. But that’s just it, it’s a practice! And one I hope we can all put in our daily lives moving faster than we may want.
As we’re heading into warmer days, I hope you’ll be able to find the balance between all the responsibilities life may be throwing your way - your health depends on it!
Thank you for reading and do something that makes you feel present this weekend.
I agree, need to chill more, so don't apologize for not posting. You needed to devote your time, attention and energy to your family. It's the why you traveled with Will to Mexico.
I agree, I think living in New York City or any urban area in the US contributes to the layers of pressures "to do" and "to do" now. Smaller town living, living abroad (in certain places), I think can help with this pressure. It's not the answer entirely, but I think contributes to one's ability and determination to change. My environment, geography and people, certainly helps alter my demeanor and perspecptive.
It's a big subject and no one formula fits all. But I think recognizing the issue and how it affects you and your family goes a long way in finding ways to have balance and making these ways a habit.
Take a look at some videos/interviews with Indra Nooyi, former CEO and Chairman of PepsiCo.